Caw Caw: A Skyloft Short Tale
by Legend of Zelda Fanatic Girl
Summary: Cawlin has a heart attack. Featuring Cawlin, Strich, Pipit, Gaepora, Karane.


Caw Caw

Caw Caw is Cawlin, a short chubby student at Skyloft Knight Academy but was far from being a knight. Cawlin got his heart broken when the only girl he loved said no to him.

Cawlin thought that he would be miserable for the rest of his life, so he slept in Groose's room while Groose was gone. But now, Groose is back. Cawlin will now go back to his room that he shares with his buddy, Strich. Strich looks like an ostrich. Strich wears a dress. Cawlin and Strich were normally best friends, but one night, Cawlin went into the room before Strich could go in and locked the door.

"Let me in!" cried Strich. "It's my room, too!"

"I want some privacy, Ostrich!" cried Cawlin.

"What's wrong?" said Strich.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? You called me Caw Caw in front of the whole school today, that's what's wrong!" said Cawlin.

"I'm sorry," said Strich. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Well, you did, so now I need you to leave me alone in my miserable state!" Cawlin replied.

"Look, Zelda's out here!" said Strich.

"So what?!" cried Cawlin, ripping out his hair. "Zelda, Smellda!"

"I heard that!" cried Zelda. "Don't MAKE me come in there!"

"Gosh darn it, Zelda, you sound more and more like the headmaster every day. Get it through your head that you're not in charge!" whined Cawlin.

"What?" joked Zelda, tilting her ear toward the door. "I can't hear you!"

"Why don't you open the door and say it to her face?" suggested Strich.

"Nah, not worth it," said Cawlin. "I don't want ostriches in my room! Remember the time a LOFTWNG got in here?"

"I'm not an Ostrich!" said Strich. "My name is Strich, and if you can't get that through your thick skull, I'm gonna bomb the door down and kick you in the…" Before he could finish, Zelda interrupted.

"Okay, okay, let's not get violent here now!" Zelda urged.

"I'm not obeying a girl!" Strich said. "Like my little buddy Caw Caw just said, you're really not in charge here."

"STOP CALLING ME CAW CAW!" roared Cawlin.

"What did you say? I'm not Cawlin, I'm Caw Caw?" teased Strich.

"You think I'm gonna let you in when you're teasing me?" Cawlin asked. "I'm staying here."

"Aren't you going to need the restroom eventually?" said Zelda.

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!" Cawlin snapped. "Now, give up, Ostrich!"

"Won't you get hungry? We all know that you like to eat," said Zelda.

"I'll eat Strich's bugs!" said Cawlin.

"No!" yelled Strich. "You can't! LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN!" He started banging on the door furiously. "Not my bugs!"

"I can," said Cawlin. "Bugs are a good source of protein!"

"You don't need food. You're fat!" yelled Strich.

"What is going on here?" asked Horwell Horwell walking by.

"Cawlin is driving me CUR-AY-ZEE!" said Strich, making a cuckoo sign.

"Karen's driving you crazy? Who's Karen?" asked Horwell Horwell.

"Not Karen! Cawlin!"

"You're calling Karen? Is that a friend of yours?" asked Horwell Horwell.

"No!" yelled Strich. "I don't know anybody named Karen and I'm not Cawlin anybody!"

"Well of course you're not Cawlin," said Horwell. "You're Strich."

"I know! Now tell that to the loser who's hogging up my my room!"

"It's my room, too!" said Cawlin.

"It's also mine, so share it!" yelled Strich.

"Who in SKYLOFT is Karen?" asked Horwell Horwell.

"Your wife," retorted Strich.

Horwell Horwell's face lit up and he smiled, putting his hands to his heart. "I am not married, but there is someone I would like to marry!" he said.

"Who? Karen?" sneered Cawlin.

"I do NOT know anybody named Karen!" growled Horwell Horwell.

"Who?" asked Strich.

"That really is my own business," said Horwell Horwell.

"That's because he wants to marry Owlan!" said Strich.

"Ew. No! Owlan is my work buddy. I'm not going to marry him," said Horwell. "Now, Cawlin, can you open up the door and let Strich and Karen in?"

"Girls are not allowed in my room!" said Cawlin. "That includes Zelda, Link and Karen!"

"Link is a boy," said Horwell Horwell.

"Then why does he look like a girl?" asked Cawlin.

"It's probably a genetic thing. Now we're not talking about this right now. Open the door and let Strich in. We're all tired," said Horwell Horwell.

"Not until I know who Karen is!" said Cawlin.

"You're Karen!" snapped Strich.

"But I'm a boy!" said Cawlin. "Karen is a girl's name!"

"That's what you know!" said Strich. "Anyone could be Karen! Karen could be your girlfriend!"

"I don't have a girlfriend and I never will. It's all Link's fault!" wailed Cawlin.

"Actually, it's my fault," said Pipit, strolling by with the academy keys. There was a key for every door. "The headmaster sent me here to save Cawlin. I heard he locked himself in."

"Save me!" said Strich. "Your girlfriend locked me out of my room!"

"Cawlin is not my girlfriend," said Pipit expressionlessly.

"I locked the door because I have a girl in here!" teased Cawlin.

"WHAT?!" cried Pipit. His eyes fell out of his head. Strich picked them up and put them back in their sockets.

"Do you really have a girl in there?" asked Pipit.

"Yeah! Her name's Karen!" said Cawlin.

"No one here is named Karen," said Pipit. "I know what you're up to, Cawlin! You made an imaginary girlfriend because you're tired of trying to steal mine!"

Pipit unlocked the door. Everyone was sleeping in the room, except for Pipit and Strich. Even Horwell Horwell and Zelda were in there, even though they were standing outside the door just earlier. How was that possible?!

Pipit turned and looked at the cardboard cutouts of Zelda and Horwell Horwell outside the door.

"How were you guys talking if you're cardboard cutouts!" he yelled. It was just too confusing.

Pipit ran and kicked over the cardboard cutout of Horwell Horwell.

"Ouch!" yelled Horwell Horwell. "How could you kick me?" It wasn't a cardboard cutout after all. The Zelda and Horwell in the room were the cardboard cutouts!

Pipit kicked the Zelda standing in the hallway.

"Don't kick me!" she cried. She burst into tears and ran toward the headmaster's office.

Gaepora stormed down the stairs and saw all the commotion.

"WHO KICKED MY DAUGHTER?!" he roared.

"Y—y-your daughter?" stuttered Pipit. "I thought she was a cardboard cutout!"

"That excuse makes no sense! How could you think my precious Zelda dear was a cardboard cutout! Are you making fun of her for being thin?"

"No, maybe you are!" said Pipit.

"That doesn't make any sense! You kicked Zelda and Horwell. I don't want to see you ever again! I'll call your mom!"

"Not my mom!" cried Pipit.

"Yes," said Gaepora. "Violence is not allowed here!"

"But when can I see my girlfriend again?" asked Pipit.

"Never! You kicked her!" said Gaepora.

"I kicked Zelda! That's different!" yelled Pipit. He shoved Gaepora.

"I'm not your punching bag!" said Gaepora. "Horwell, call the police!"

Horwell called 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" the operator asked.

"One of our students is beating up staff members! He assaulted me!" said Horwell. He sounded choked up.

"What's your address?" said the operator.

"I don't know," said Horwell.

The operator hung up.

Gaepora threw Pipit off of a ledge.  
Pipit's girlfriend, Karane saw what happened and screamed. She tried to catch Pipit and she too fell off the ledge.

Meanwhile, Cawlin was having a heart attack.

"Call 911 again and THIS TIME tell them our address!" cried Gaepora.

Soon, the police arrived and hauled off Pipit, Karane and Cawlin.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Strich. "Cawlin died!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Pipit. "I thought Zelda was a cardboard cutout!"

Epilogue:

Pipit broke his leg and had to stay at his home for a month.

Karane got a concussion.

Cawlin decided not to die. His doorknob was changed so that he couldn't lock Strich out.  
And the chaotic Knight Academy life went on…


End file.
